5 Extremely Creepy Sermon Illustrations It’s Time To Retire For Good

Sermons are hard, and we’re not here to pretend otherwise. They are much more difficult than people think of pastors. Keeping your congregation not just engaged, but genuinely interested, learning, challenged, and inspired for an entire sermon is no small feat. do good.

Helpful illustration is part of being a good preacher – taking something hard to understand and putting it in tangible terms that are easier to grasp is not only helpful for complex spiritual truths, but can also make a good story in itself. . And hey, who doesn’t love a good story? that said, there are some unfortunate patterns that keep popping up again and again in church sermons — and it’s time to pull them out.

1. Chewing gum

This sermon illustration was especially popular in purity talks, where youth pastors desperate to encourage teens to flee sexual temptation pointed out what would happen to their souls if they failed. The idea is that any premarital violation of conservative sexual ethics will make you a ball of chewing gum – more or less worthless. To take the illustration to its logical conclusion, staying a virgin until your wedding day has made you a whole new piece of unchewed gum. It’s better? In any case, the illustration is ugly for a number of reasons, not the least of which is a surprising lack of grace for an ostensibly concept-based faith.

2. Neo Analogies

Matrix 4 will apparently be titled Resurrections, which is probably enough to send pastors around the world salivating at the prospect of a new series of neo-oriented sermons. Morpheus’ old red pill, the blue pill dilemma, was naturally tempting sermon illustration fodder in the late ’90s, but there’s plenty of reason to rethink it now. For one thing, Neo’s unique abilities have mostly manifested in his ability to shoot guns very well, which may give the church a bad impression. More importantly, the whole “red pill” thing has been subsumed by radical groups with a deeply evil ideology. Not really the idea you want to communicate.

3. Football analogies

Now, of course, sports analogies have their place. Even non-sports fans can admit it. There’s nothing wrong with tapping into sports for a good sermon drama. But perhaps it’s time to rethink football analogies, given football’s ethically charged place in culture. From clashes over taking a knee during the anthem to ongoing controversies around the long-term impact football has on athletes’ brains, football is no longer exactly the neutral territory it once was. For the sake of people who have experienced the inconveniences of the football industrial complex, take it easy.

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4. Training Analogies

No matter how relevant your workout analogy is, your audience will almost undoubtedly be thinking “we get it, you’re going to the gym.” That’s probably not what you’re trying to communicate, so avoid it. And if so, on some subconscious level, what you’re trying to communicate…all the more reason to stay away.

5. Smokin’ Hot Wife Analogies

The Smokin’ Hot Wife analogy needs little more time to dress up here than it’s already had in Twitter Meme’s Christian talk, but the analogy has continued to evolve and change. escape extinction. You see variations of it in nature, and it needs to be eradicated. See. We all want pastors to love and cherish the people they have married. It’s great. And to be sure, there’s nothing wrong with relying on your marriage for sermon artwork material. The problem with smoking hot wife analogies is that they aren’t really an example of loving your wife or an example of leveraging your marriage for sermon illustration material. It looks like a typical locker room boy bragging about who has the biggest antlers in the herd. And you’re not cheating on anyone, not even your hot wife.

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